Keep the Communication Lines Open
Your child’s social world broadens during middle school, and it’s important to take the time to regularly talk to them openly and honestly about their feelings and friendships. Whether it’s at the dinner table or right before their bedtime, have frequent chats with them about their social life and their role as a friend. Try not to be too judgmental while having these discussions, as this can cause them to withhold information or not want to talk about these issues at all. Director of Rutgers Social and Emotional Learning Lab Maurice Elias says that it’s good to always offer to drive for your adolescent and their friends. Your child adds that you will learn a great deal by listening to their conversations in the car, and you will also get to know more about their friends and what they are doing.
Nurture Your Adolescent's Empathy
Middle school is an awkward time for any young person. It may involve a move to a larger school with more peers and going between classrooms for the first time. Your 7th grader may feel uncertain in this new and shifting social scene. They may also be nervous about making friends. By talking to them and explaining that everyone else is going through the same challenges, you can help them better-understand their peers and the importance of using empathy in their social interactions. You may also want to encourage them to make new friends or join school clubs and organizations to get to know different people. New York City-based teacher Anne Harlam adds that if your teen is more introverted, you should try not to push them into social situations or put too much pressure on them to meet new people. Harlam suggests that you allow your adolescent to make friendships at a pace with which they are comfortable, and give him the support that your child may need to overcome their social challenges.
Get to Know Your Middle-Schooler's Guidance Counselor
Maurice Elias says that counselors can be a good source of information about what is happening in school, and if you notice changes in your child’s behavior that you can’t explain, you can check in with them. There could be things happening at school that you should know about, particularly bullying or cyberbullying. The counselor can be a big help in understanding and, in some cases, reaching out to your adolescent.
Books Can Spark Conversations About Bullying
Many schools have programs about these topics that involve books and other readings, and finding out about these can open up conversations about their content with your adolescent. If your child seems to have some concerns about bullying, look for natural opportunities to mention books about the topic, like Freak by Marcella Pixley, Wonder by R. J. Palacio and Cornered: 14 Stories of Bullying and Defiance by Rhoda Belleza. These books lead naturally to a discussion about the forms that bullying can take. You can also ask their if she’s ever dealt with bullying or cyberbullying, and work together to figure out ways they can handle these types of situation in the future. For more age-appropriate book examples, see our reading list.
7th Grade Social Awareness Skills
At this age, your child is developing their sense of empathy and they are learning how to behave appropriately in a variety of social settings.