Be an Example of Good Self-Management
Most parents have moments when they are upset. At these times, tell your family you need a small break to calm down. Take this time to think about how to come back to the situation in a positive manner. Your child will see you taking these steps to calm yourself and will be more likely to use this technique himself. You can also talk with your child as you calm yourself down. Former head of St. Louis-based New City School, Tom Hoerr suggest saying things like, “I’m going to take some deep breaths and count 1, 2, 3.” One of the best ways you can teach your child about self-management is to model it yourself.
Identify a Place or Technique to Help Your Child Calm Down
Pay attention to your child’s natural calming strategies. For example, your child might naturally look for comfort in a pillow or blanket, or your child might try to walk away from upsetting situations. Some children may feel better simply by making silly faces or noises until they calm down. Understanding your child’s natural tendencies for calming can help you encourage those behaviors at other times. You can also help identify a special place for him or her to calm down, and let them choose what to call the space. Some examples could be the “safe place” or the “peace corner.” Teaching your child that it is O.K. to take some time to collect themselves will allow them to take the initiative and do it on their own. It can be best to practice this before your child is upset, so that they can return to the technique or space at times when they are upset.
Limit Screen Time
Try not to give your child a phone, tablet, or other electronic device every time you find yourselves waiting for a doctor’s appointment, picking up a sibling from school, or waiting for food to arrive in a restaurant. There’s value for your child in learning to control themselves in situations where they're not entertained.
Make Routines into an Art Project
On a large piece of paper or dry-erase board, work with your child to outline getting ready for bed or school. You can cut pictures out of magazines, like toothbrushes or backpacks, to add to the paper. Map out what is done first and what is done last. Do you start with brushing teeth and then getting dressed? Clearly labeling what is expected of your child helps them act accordingly. Kids will likely need reminding and reinforcing at times, but showing them what is expected is a good place to start. If your child has difficulty with routines, try breaking them into smaller steps.
Try Role-playing with Your Child
For example, play grocery store and have him or her pretend to be the cashier. As your child pretends, they are learning self-management by acting like the cashier. Instead of doing something your child might have a sudden urge to do, like pet the family dog, your child continues to scan your pretend groceries. That's learning self-management.
Kindergarten Self-Management Skills
Self-management allows your child to develop their ability to control their behavior and mood, which can be very empowering.